torsdag 24 april 2008

Obsession of the day

Angelic prettys Fruit parlor print REALLY speaks to me, the broad, vertical stripes in blackXpink, the sugary sweet print and the adoreble heart detail on the chest, I just LOVE it! And the shortlseeve hoodie with huge poofy sleeves and white on black polkadots, my favourite! But of course both of them are sold out. I'm not sure when AP started to take over my wardrobe but in a way it concerns me. AP is dificult to get ahold of from the stores since their so popular and on auktion the stuff is usualy overpriced. I have always thought it was a bit silly how so many lolitas go crazy for their stuff and now I'm part of the mob, wtf?

måndag 7 april 2008

Another day...

So today came the day when I had to say good-bye to my most beloved cat for the last time. As I sat in the car, with his tiny body in my arms, I could not help but to hope for the car to crash and kill me. His soft mewing from inside the blanket makes my heart ace, I want to save him, want to make him feel better like he always does for me, but I don't know how. I'm having difficulties breathing trough the pain, I'm not even sure if it's physical or mental. My dads just quiet. For once hes acting emotionally appropriate. My mum says he's sad because he can't comfort me. I guess we sort of share a feeling of inadequate-ness.

The vet was a jackass, stupidest piece of shit I ever talked to with no concept of how to handle someone whos sad, she acted like I was seven years old or something. But I couldn't be bothered, at the time I was alredy gone. The great big bubble of glass that tends to swallow me, isolate me, had alredy been lowered down over my head. It was just me and my baby in the whole world, and I had alredy said my good-byes. Nothing to do but to hold him and hope I offer some kind of comfort to him, I pray he's not scared as they give him the injection.

And to Skorpan:
I suppose it was inevitable. I suppose I'm selfish for crying as much as I do because you where tired, and I understand if you wanted to sleep. It just hurts to be without you because you made me so happy and I loved you so much. I hope this was the right decision, and I hope I will see you again.

Love you always and forever ~Josephine