Vanity, the ugly side of beeing female

I stumbled upon, and got stuck, at the lolita secrets side of the Egl livejournal comunity and I was sad but not supprised that it's no different from how I remembered it. I myself have only briefly been the holder of an livejournal account many years ago, during what feelt like the early days of the internet, and as a bit of a lolita noob at the time I became rather intimidated by the catty attitudes of the not so lovley ladies of the comunity. I never dared to post anything and soon left again, never to return, and after that it took me a mind boggling seven years in the style before I even got something I would refer to as real lolita friends, peopel I could actually talk to.

I know we belong to a style that might be considered on the extreme side of shallowness as far as style goes because we share no music scene or political views, we just share ouer vanity. But why is it, despite this, so common that lolita girls obsess over the idea of "representing" lolita? You can't be too fat, too ugly, too old or too tall, you can't dressed in bodyline or god forbid you go out wearing a too short skirt or without a headdress and call yourself a lolita, because if you do, you will give all us lolitas a bad name. So you bitches better bring your A game. We seem to look at lolita as a great big family, and unless your perfect you'll end up beeing that black sheep, tainting ouer name by association. I'm well aware of the fact that I at times am guilty of this kind of behaviour and thoughts myself but I really don't want to live up to this negative stereotype of not just lolitas but women in general. It's only skinn deep so why so mean, girls?