Hold your breath and count to ten...

I'm pretty bad with updating theese days, I'm not feeling at ease with anything latley, I'm feeling physicaly ill and worn out to the point that I get sick almost daily and I'm not really happy with my living situation. I've been looking at, and thinking about actually buying, an apartment in another, larger, city as to have closer to friends and family and also get more job opportunitys or maybe even go back to school. However I'm sort of caught in a catch 22, if I want to leave my job and move I won't get the loan and if I don't quit my job I can't really move. I guess I could commute since it's about an houer away with the train but my work schedule is so irregular that I doubt it would be possible. The short of it is that I'm stuck, I guess there are things I could do,other opptions, but I don't feel like there is a way to improvment in the mix. I wish my life could feel less like a test of my endurance.